"Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive." Dalai Llama
One of the key elements of resilience is self compassion. Very often we show compassion for others that we aren't able to show to ourselves.
To have compassion you must first notice one's suffering and second your heart must respond to their suffering with warmth and caring. Compassion also means that you understand that suffering and failure are all part of the human experience. Therefore, there is no judgement.
When practicing self compassion it is important to turn the lens of compassion on to ones self.
Ways to Grow Self Compassion
1. Treat yourself the same way you would a friend. Tell yourself, "Would I be talking to a friend this way?".
2. Remind yourself that there will always be suffering in life. Do not blame yourself for the suffering you are experiencing.
3. Write down your strengths on a piece of paper to remind yourself of all the many strengths you have.
4. Remind yourself that if you want to change, do it with the mindset that you want to be more healthy and happy and not with the negative self talk that you are unacceptable as you are.
Some ways to do this:
1. Goal Setting - Map out long term, mid-term and short term goals.
2. Habit Changing - With habits there is a trigger, the habit, and the reward. The best way to cange a habit is to identify the trigger and substitute a different habit.
3. Mapping out a Purpose - A recognition that we belong to something bigger than ourselves